Last updateThu, 02 Apr 2015 10pm

#CisforConsequence: Dear Deepika. Choices have Consequences.

Dear Children,

You may one day see this beautifully made black and white video with women who will be telling you, in slow motion and with haunting music playing in the background, all that there is to choice. Although they speak only for women, dear Son, choice is as much yours as it is your Sister’s.


They repeatedly tell you that you can justify any act of yours by saying ‘It’s my Choice’. They say that many times in the Video and it reminds me how as 5 year olds sometimes if you did something you were not supposed to, upon being asked why you did it, you would say “just because I wanted to”. You know it did not work then. And I want to tell you that it will also not work tomorrow despite what the Aunties are telling you in this Video.

Yes you have to right to choose. But Choice is relentlessly followed by Consequence. So if the choice belongs to you so does the Consequence.

The mind and body are yours so the actions and consequences are yours too. What you see is what you think, and what you think is what you become. So you will choose to fill your mind with certain thoughts but remember you will become those thoughts. So be cautious with what you feed your mind. Your body is yours to do whatever you like. But you could choose to drink yourself to cirrhosis or choose to poison and kill yourself like the boy in the news recently did, by drinking too much alchohol. Your choice. Your consequence.

The Aunty also tells you that Chetan or Spirit cannot be trapped by silk or cotton. True enough. Silk or cotton, saree or skirt, hijab or a hat does not reflect how free or trapped the Soul is. So let no one tell you otherwise. The Body male or female is indeed an adornment which we shed each lifetime. But being respectful towards the body is what I have taught you and I hope you will remember that. Dressing to the occasion and appropriately is always welcome. Always remember your clothes neither trap you nor liberate you. Break free of that cage.

I am not sure what it means to love temporarily as the Video says, but if you choose to love someone temporarily, be prepared to be loved temporarily too. If you ask for my advice, love wisely and love forever. Give yourself fully and embrace and be grateful for the love that comes your way.

You can lust forever, but lust for the right things. Lust for knowledge and enlightenment. Lust for goodness and good work. Lust for understanding and fulfilling the purpose of your life. Lust for Oneness with the Universe and its Maker.

Sex, to do or not to, is your choice definitely, but if you choose to have sex before marriage, know that there are associated issues of emotional, physical and cyclical abuse and even teenage pregnancies which affect both genders. It is not all fun and never an entitlement as the Aunty seems to suggest. There is a time and place for everything and in this particular case there is also the right person, so be patient and be wise.

God granted us free will and the games began. So yes, it is your choice to have sex outside marriage. But if you make that choice, I will not stand by you. Dear Son I will smack you and I will support my Daughter-in Law if you cannot love and keep your promises to the woman you married. Your choice to break hearts and families impacts others. And dear daughter women emancipation does not mean you enjoy special privileges here. Choice can be yours but it can also be the right one or a terribly wrong one.

Dear daughter, the bindi on your forehead, rings on your fingers and adding his surname to yours are not necessarily ornaments. They are your choice and you may shed them but you may choose to keep them, not because it is your weakness but because it is your strength and your love.

Do not judge other people’s choices but know that there is a right and wrong.

Choice is married to Responsibility and divorcing the two is very dangerous.

Respect yourself but also the other.

You are not a forest but a tree.

You are not a snowfall but a snowflake.

But so are the others…trees and snowflakes.

The snowflake is important and so is the tree.

But the tree will be long gone and yet the Forest will remain.

The snowflake will melt but the snow will continue to fall.

You are very important but never more than Humanity.

You and I will be long gone but the Society will remain.

So choose wisely and not just for yourself.

Yours truly,




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